Haiku Friday: Saturday version

There are better ways
than professional training
to spend a Friday

So I ate candy
and knitted with much fervor
and some snide remarks

Forgot to haiku
or finish the old projects.
Babe needs a poncho.

Did you miss me?

My sister did. I remember last year when I had started reading blogs regularly and I read some through November and I LOVED NaBloPoMo when it wasn't my job to post every day. I started this post on Wednesday and still have not hit publish. So be it.

Claire has been exceptionally, heart wrenchingly funny. She was naked and getting herself dressed when she said, as if she were quite annoyed, "Godsakes, it's cold in here." I decided not to correct her and tell her no dear, you say "For God's sake" because, well, correcting her use of profanity or expletives just doesn't seem quite right. The next morning Jason was trying to get her to say it again, asking her if she was cold (she said yes and put her coat on) and to describe how cold she was (very). After demonstrating her ability not to fall for her Daddy's ploys, that evening as I was driving the girls home from day care she leaned towards Hannah and said in a stage whisper "TAKE THE BAIT!" After I recovered I asked her why she told Hannah that, and she said "Mom, I was watching Madagascar today," as if that explained everything. Next day she crawled into bed with us in the morning, and said "Mom, where do ladies get husbands?" so I told her how I met her father. "Where will I find a husband?" I gave her some ideas, like college, in about twenty years, but she is thinking she'd like to get married and have babies in the next two years.

Hannah is an eating, pooping machine, apparently in a growth spurt. I live in fear of her metabolic clinic appointments, where I am terrified someone will tell me I am not up to snuff and that I can't keep Hannah. will I ever let go of this fear? They always tell me she could be bigger (I'll discuss that with her) and that her diet has too much fat (hello, breast milk) and then they poke her to get some blood and I cry all over her head. Good times, good times. So Monday will kinda suck that way and then I can return to pre-Christmas madness and power knitting.

The end of something, but not the end of everything

NaBloPoMo is coming to a close. I can't say I am entirely sorry. I don't need one more self imposed "must do" to feel crappy about, so I won't be restarting NaBloPoMo for December, but I have liked some of the things I've written this month. I meant to post a special dedication to a sweater I have been knitting for a long time, but I haven't finished the sweater because I've been blogging every evening. There was something I wanted to say about my gratitude for the village that's raisin' up my with me, but apparently you guys forgot to come over and babysit so I could write children more. You are bastard people and you know how I feel about your ass-faces. And did you all notice that I never once posted about poop? I meant to. I may still.

Reflecting on the internet addiction, though, has been fun. I am still thunderstruck at how enchanting online interaction with perfect strangers can be. You are all very good for my mental health. Thanks!

The pie ate my blog post

I ate the Turkey Ala King.

I ate the pie.

I sat down to blog.

I fell asleep in front of the computer.

The pie made me do it.

A girl and her boy

She says they're getting married.







I hope he gets a better car soon.

Black Friday Haiku

Lo, I am afraid
of sales with lines out the door
and the shopping hell.

We stayed home, and worked
the girls and I, and darkened
no box store's wide doors,

But I will go out
on the day after Christmas.
Sock stuffers half off!

When the turkey has a bun in the oven

Don't tell the guests until the bird is showing. There will be a pregnant pause. Someone will want a cigar and naming rights. Tu-corn-hen, anyone?



The guests will keep a watchful eye for any other surprises.



And then they will eat stuffing.