Friday Haiku - Psoriasis, Death, and Taxes

O, psoriasis!
Bane of my adolescence,
I have not missed you.

Next time you come back
I will punch you in the throat
and I won't feel bad.

But for now I will
hide my spotty self in lots
of baggy clothing.

And think of all the
weird baths, lotions, creams and pills
you brought to my life.

I can blame taxes
getting filed with a dead man.
Why ever, you came.

You're a right bastard.
You actually suck out loud.
Please take a long hike.

the Friday Haiku, a day late, a dollar short, personal review

Did I forget to
to thank you, for soup you brought me
after the funeral?

My manners so suck!
Alas, I am still crazy,
no note will follow.

Next time a person
dies and you want to give gifts
to the kids, please don't.

Instead of soft toys
give them your time and presence.
Those things don't pile up.

Haiku Friday: Potty Training O My

"Don't toucha mah bum!"
She screams at me angrily.
How else can I wipe?

She wipes standing up,
does not understand dripping.
I wish that she did.

Ev'rytime she pees
she asks "school bus?" hopefully.
Connection's my fault.

I told her "big girls"
got to go on the bus MORE.
She holds me to it.

So tomorrow we
must go on the city bus
as a poor second

I have to make good
or I will be made to pay.
Three year old despot.

Friday haiku - divorcing my favorite restauant

Ichiban sushi
the restaurant of my dreams
oh how I loved you

You were sold, and bought
sold again, to my dismay
I don't forgive you

Your tuna tartare
a delight to the senses
now its just spendy

and just not all that.
I loved the Kewpie mayo
and flying fish eggs

the sushi stood still
the river of time moved on
that moment has passed

Haiku Friday - I just got back from the periodontist and boy is my jaw tired; or - if it ends in "ectomy" it has to be bad

Gingivectomy
fully as bad as it sounds
dag nab it, this hurts.

My jaw is crooked
with the hot and hard swelling
I don't look like me

With extended jowl
I look like George Washington
just call me Fathead.

My tongue is worn out
chasing the stitches and wounds
examining all.

Gingivectomy
fully as bad as it sounds
you should use more floss.


Come join in for more 'ku at Jan's.

Haiku Friday - the not sick on Saturday edition

Children will fall ill
foggy sleeplessness settles
a pox on my house

She doesn't sleep well
I must give extra cuddles
rocking her to sleep

Size G nursing breasts
serving more than one purpose
she rests, my neck hurts

Then the illness wanes
sun shines in all its brilliance
reflected in smiles

Dancing, smiling child
laughingly meeting the world
as if no rain fell

and no cloud cast gloom
through our almost clean windows.
The baby is pleased!

Please join Haiku Friday bloggers on any day of the week, at at Jan's little corner of the internet, here.

Haiku Friday - where to kiss the baby

The soft rounded calf
Her wee Volkswagen Bug feet
The tips of her toes

Her forehead is smooth
no need to kiss worry lines
when we say goodbye

The base of her head
meets the top of the neck with
a sculpted hollow

Her downy soft hair
Tickles my nose when she sleeps
Tucked under my chin

Kiss her open mouth
and she laughs herself silly
then smooch on her neck

The best placed kiss
lands anywhere when she strokes
my face with her hand



See A Mommy Story to link to more haiku. Enjoy your weekend. I recommend cheese toast.

Friday haiku - week in review

My stepson's dear friend
came to our house on Sunday,
sleepovers are fun.

I planned better food
to make the young guest happy
he has nice manners.

And he loves to read!
for boys, good influences
are so hard to find.

The told me they were
headed off to the close park
and I said OK.

A minute later
My stepson comes in screaming
"He fell! Broke his arm!"

I ran out. He had.
They both jumped off the garage.
The friend could not fly.

I called 9-1-1.
His arm bent in the middle
in ways it should not.

His mom forgave us
after he had surgery
to place a few pins.

She said he always
wants to be a daredevil,
she is used to it.


I have girls! We have tea parties! We play Mommy and Daddy! God help me I hope they never feel the need to jump off buildings, or date the boys who do. But maybe that part is easier than all the drama? I guess that remains to be seen.

Join us with your haiku on your blog and link back to A Mommy Story for the linky love.

Friday Haiku - birthday musings

My birthday musings
Holy fuck I am so old
but not too wrinkled

A word to the wise
It fills up the crevices
If you stay chubby

Body limps along
Aches, pains, and the gut problems
Must wear some good shoes

The freckles fool folks
But the gray hair gives me up
So I dye it red

Too old to have kids
who are at such a young age
I hope I can last

I can't quite retire
while kids are still in college.
Hope they find money

I will eat sushi
My favorite frosted cake
pretend I worked out

Yet I would not change
the path I have come along
I love my people

They might not have liked
me, when I was much younger
I am better now!

Go visit at A Mommy Story to link to more haiku. And eat some cake and wish me a good birthday. Make it with real buttercream frosting.

Haiku Friday - Claire the Magnificent

She wakes up laughing
ready to go anywhere
until she mood swings

Her eyes like thunder
everything disappoints her
for just ten seconds

Then, happy! happy!
"Where are we going today?"
"Who's coming over?"

Her fanciest moves
from dance class propel her past
and back, arm outstretched

She squeals with her joy
She proclaims heartfelt wonder
the world is all hers

Eats all her dinner
if I give her a good treat
like chocolate pudding

Her legs are so bruised
She needs many Mom kisses
To make owies heal

I tuck her in bed
"mom you're coming back to me
and bringing water"

Happy Friday everytbody see A Mommy Story for more haiku links, or post your own.

Haiku Friday the third

I am so tired
for a girl who doesn't sleep
sure need ambien

pooped out but present
baby in growth spurt, nicely
my fam plugged along

Thursday rears its head
hernia! Daddy sit down!
now, don't paint the house

my mom sick with angst
Daddy's hernia repaired
she wants him cooking

he drives her places
how is she supposed to go
church, the store, back home

God don't let me get
so slow, old, and decrepit
she is now eighty

the poor man can't rest
or be sick and leave her stuck
then she is helpless

once he gets home soon
she can stare at him, weeping
and calm the heck down

I'll make casseroles
maybe a chicken pot pie
bland and less roughage?

my sister and I
agree, don't let us get old
smother with pillow

It's Friday again, so head over to A Mommy Story and check out the haiku movement and say to yourself, five...seven...five.

Haiku Friday: the second

A week like none known
toddler dancing in the show
pink tutu and tights

baby with giggles
the Binky joke charms us both
offer then snatch back

the ear infection
beat back by amoxicillin
and mango sorbet

did not kill husband
despite all our sleeplessness
we are still married

my glass is half full
has no cracks and no lipstick
but I'd prefer wine


To join in Haiku Friday, go to A Mommy Story and post away.

Haiku Friday: the first

My Friday haiku -

Relax and accept
the acupuncturist said
serenity here

It's not just a prayer
for the folks who quit drinking
you too can calm please

Needles kept poking
dim lights and nice fake wave sounds
I did calm right down

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The form of haiku
Makes me sound more beautiful
Five seven then five

On wikipedia
Fake encyclopedia
Haiku form’s not set

The Japanese writers
flow their structure with nature
But I can't purge my verbs

For now I am stuck
with predictable drivel
Can't let go of rhyme

F*&^ me I can't stop
that rhythm possesses me
Brain dump in po'try

Didn't I already tell you how I like to write bad poetry? Did I give you adequate warning? It was with great good fortune that I found Christina's site just when I was all full of extra words and whacked out rhythms. This may not cure you of terminal white guy butt, if you have rhythm issues, but it may release some tension, anyhow. Check out the link list over at A Mommy Story, where the haikus are all linked up. Join in if you can, and as always, laugh at me behind my back. I am ashamed to tell you that I would have had more than two poems if I had been faster with making my first link in a post, and copying code to upload the button. TeacherMommy, will this make you forgive me for not doing your meme? Please?

more bad poetry

This is still Shultzie's fault.

Did I mention that I secretly hope to write for children?


Coal tar, 'roid rage, chicken on a spit
UV light
still not right
whatta buncha shit


I do like this one better:

I erased your saved programs on the DVR
Forgive me, I hate all shows on that bad channel
No one needs to know that much about aliens

Schmutzie made me do it

Jaywalker at Belgian Waffle made me go to Schmutzie's site and this is what happened next:

This is just to say, baby (variations on a theme by William Carlos Williams)

I cursed when you shat on my lap tonight during dinner

Forgive me, but the caramel goo was so warm

I don’t want you to learn to repeat that word much.


Your head smells like me but your neck smells like sour milk

What is that stuff between your wee little fingers?

I’m sorry, but you were once so fresh and so clean.


Lord Honey, you video game playing husband

Get up off your ass and pick up this steamy diaper

Or I’ll have more sins to confess to on the internet.







Go give her one of your own, if you thing you have the power to stop once you've begun . . .


http://www.schmutzie.com/2009/04/this-is-just-to-say.html