Wednesday, June 10, 2009
TeacherMommy gave me an award!! And it is both fabulous and profane! So, in order to put it on my blog I will answer the question as required, but because I am kind of lame, I am only giving one answer.
What I am obsessed with:
Blogging: I love it, can't stop, find it eminently fulfilling and thought provoking and soothing.
I love that the rest of you appear to be at least as whacked out as I am. My god, you people make me feel so much better! Every time I read that you can't keep your crap together, I feel so much better about the crap I can't keep together. Are you all aware of the common phobias out there? Not all of us share the same phobias, for example, I don't share the post office fear that many of you have, but try to get me there to drop off bills, well, let's just say I won't get there on time. Not because I am scared but because I am lame. And the blogosphere shows me about how I am just part of our collective lameness. Safety in numbers! Hooray! I loved finding out that others of you can't pay your bills on time, or cash checks you actually have in hand, or like your in laws or answer the phone and on and on. To see further proof, go visit Jaywalker at Belgian Waffle and check out the confessional in particular. Where truth be told, it will come out that some folks do have sexier lives than others, but still, we are pretty similar in our sins of omission and commission. And the rest of her blog will blow mine out of the water but go have a look, you'll see what I mean.
I love your drama. I am sorry about your pain but I love to read about it, even when it makes me cry on a day when I wasn't already full of weepiness. I guess I love the human condition. In the last episode of Buffy (the source of all of the best references) Anya once tells squirelly little Andrew that she loves humans because they just keep trying, even in the face of everything wretched, they just keep going. And so do you! It seems wrong to say it but it is a privilege to observe the courage of the mothers who lose their kids and then have to muster the courage just to go forward, and as they share their anguish the rest of us are compelled to not just to bear witness, but to offer an internet shoulder to cry on or an e-casserole. Really, this part is amazing and until a few months ago I had no idea the internet community was real. Witness a mother recognizing her need to give up drinking, a mother who deals with horrible health issues in her family, or a host of other gut wrenching and life affirming events. And then all that courage of the hilarious and small drama moments, the driving and the parking and the shopping and the spouses and all of that stuff that makes life full. Love it.
Also, I cannot deny that I love it when you aren't in pain. I love the posts dedicated to love for a particular wee human, or pet, or activity, or anything at all. Go see the fabulous Rebecca for an example of bloggers really digging in and loving it without pooping sunshine and bunnies. I enjoy your discourse, when a blogger with a following asks us and then we all chime in and say our piece and link to each other and find more friends. When I am all big and grownup I'll do that too. Just wait! Some of these discussions are thought provoking like Schmutzie's call to wake up about the impact of our insulting language or Her Bad Mother trying to get mommy types to call a truce in the mommy wars of good vs. evil, and some posts just plain crack me up.
Honestly, you are all so much more fun than TV. My husband might regret that I no longer want to watch "our" shows together as I blog away the evenings, but then he gets to have more fun watching Deadliest Catch without me. See, I know how Deadliest Catch episodes will end - a big cold wave washes over a boat pitching and keeling, someone will fall and nearly be washed away and drowned, some fish that were caught will be lost along with some equipment, and everyone will be wet. Now, contrast that with your lives, and really my money is on you for a tale well told, because anything could happen and your eye for detail and way with words will make it come alive for me, and you won't necessarily even be wet and cold! You really are more fun.
Work/life/self balance. Enough about that. It's all over the web and I am making my personal effort to absolve myself of guilt. Enough is enough. I should spend less time blogging. Oops.
Crying kinda blows. I've always known people who say I am lucky to cry and I say nuts to that, it gives me a whanging headache. But when I need to lay out my fears and my whines and my oh fucks I just need to, and when I do it here, you guys don't actually see me cry, which is cool, and you can cry a wee bit while you read it, and then hello, I've just done all kinds of introspective thinking and I haven't had to pay a therapist, take any non-breastfeeding compatible meds or cry quite as much as I would in therapy, and this takes way less time, of which I have little to spare.
You pay attention to me!! Oh thank you. Really, thank you! My own personal audience, I've been waiting for this for years. I am happy to let you laugh at me, hence this post and this post and probably loads more to come, if you'll just keep coming back. I appreciate the comments you leave when I wail about the condition my condition is in, which is harder than some but honestly not all that bad and here I am wanting to go on and on about and right now, you really like me! Thank you.
So now I've let you see what sucked me in to the blogging world, and why I wanted in. When I get around to upgrading my blog, I will create an avatar dooly-do so I when I follow blogs I have a wee face, and um, maybe create a blogroll, and maybe even a masthead with meaning, but, you know, for now I keep reading what you all write, and writing here and then you know, we get sucked into that work/life/self balance all over again and my blog still looks like hell with no personalized masthead.
So, if you follow me, or I follow you, consider yourself fabulous and give yourself this award, from me. Together we rock.