Monday, November 23, 2009

Dream Weaver, I believe you can kick me in the can

So a week or so ago, I had an Obama sex dream. It was quite involved in terms of location and guilt over my marriage vows, and Obama was even sexier than non dreamy Obama, but I woke up feeling so, so guilty about Lord Honey. It took a few minutes for me to realize I hadn't done anything wrong at all, and I was in the clear, thus able to be absolutely normally bitchy in getting Lord Honey up and at his day. It was hours before I remembered I should have felt guilty about Michelle Obama, too! Last night, I dreamed I found a red headed brown skinned baby at a grocery store, and the people in the know determined that the baby could be mine. I kept trying to hang on to the red headed non-gendered baby, but as the baby was in a car seat in a grocery cart, the baby kept disappearing with faceless Hispanic women who also wanted a baby in a blue car seat. Over and over I got that baby back, even in a longish line for 'flu shots which caused no small amount of confusion for all the parents. Eventually I got the baby back and did my Thanksgiving shopping, but I still had to fight for ownership in the pie department. Neither of these dreams would have stayed with me had I not been woken mid dream, last night by Lord Honey doing the angry naked man foot stamp dance when he found Hannah had a surprise nighttime poo blowout, and, well, you know, finders keepers and all that. After he demanded I tell him where the extra jammies were (third drawer, like always) I was sort of enjoying the angry naked man foot stamping too much to get out of the bed and help. I did relent, and get clean bedding for Hannah, after the angry, naked man said not to leave toys on the stairs, and to remember he sometimes used the stairs in the dark. And if none of this had gone on, I would not have remembered this very odd dream baby. Odd because it doesn't seem likely I'd ever make a baby of that size, with that skin color, since I only make miniature translucent babies. Odd indeed, and I don't feel guilty.


  1. That was the funniest post ever. And I want me some Obama sex dreams! I wonder if I can go to sleep and instruct myself to have one of them. A bit of guilt would probably spice it up even more. Angry naked man foot stamping - that's my new concept for the week.

  2. SO FUNNY!!!

    My dream last night involved me blurting out how I feel about Joe to him (yeah, with That Word) and him being all taken aback and then kissing me but NOT SAYING IT BACK.

    So not as good/funny a dream, missing baby or no.

  3. Some things I do not understand. If I needed help with a child during the night, all I had to do was ask. It’s really very simple. The Boss used that same tactic when she needed help during the night. Let’s face it, if you took part in making the child, you take part in raising the child. There’s nothing to be foot stomping naked about.