Monday, January 3, 2011

2010, bullet by bullet

Numbers to explain the year in review:

Health category:
  • therapy sessions for my daughter:
    •      PT - about 45
    •      OT - about 35
    •      Hippotherapy - about 20
    •      bonus play time at Little Gym -  about 30
  • Doctor visits for daughter - 10 ish
  • Doctor visits for me - skip that
  • times my children went under general anesthesia because dentists don't do "light" sedation on people under 30 pounds - 2
  • kinds of brain damage identified in immediate family - more than, one for hell's sake
  • physical therapy sessions for me:
    •      neck related - 10
    •      broken butt related - 8
  • physical therapy sessions where I went to cheer my mom on - 3
  • number of times she didn't remember my name correctly, before therapy - 2
  • number of times she said she didn't want to do therapy - a bunch
  • number of times she did it anyway - enough that she gets an A++ for effort, and will be released home in a few days, having achieved more strength than she had pre-stroke
  • number of times I've felt inspired to chuck in the legal job and become a PT - a whole bunch
  • Jazzercise classes attended: 50 or so
  • Pounds lost - about 20
  • Months not spent doing regular exercise - 6
  • Bra size letters down - let's just rate this as moving in the right direction.  If I were one of those medical weird ass types (as in "patient denies pain" WTF?) I'd say the bra size is downgoing
  • Number of times I creatively visualized punching "STROKE" right in its stupid ass face while doing a punch move in a Jazzercise routine - at least 150
  • Number of times punches made me feel infinitesimally better - 150 
  • twenty zillion - number of times I had to explain to someone what Hannah's hand braces and taping methods are, how different methods work, separately and together, and what a cast is doing on a perfectly good arm
  • a few - number of times the above made me cry when I really didn't want to
  • a whole bunch more than a few - number of times I did the explanation without tears because I rock.  Well she rocks, and I have been practicing.
Wealth category:

  • Raises - none
  • Expenses - up, up and away
  • Vacations I paid for without charging the whole thing - one big honkin' trip to Disneyland, in my minivan, because I am that cool
  • Bankruptcies, job losses, unpaid bills (debt floating on credit cards excluded) - zero. We'll call this a win, because fortune didn't frown on me here, and the credit card debt far predates 2010, so it doesn't really count as an annual statistic, right?
Happiness category:
  • Belly laugher now identified: Hannah is a belly laugher.  She also hits people a lot and honks your nose while looking you right in the eyes to watch how you react.  Claire was very much a smiley baby but Hannah is more of a laugh out loud baby, and I have to say both traits are quite pleasant in one's offspring.
  • Husband has not been killed by me or anyone else.  This is probably good.
  • I can't say I didn't try, because I really did.  But it made me tired.
  • Claire says I am the best Mommy in town, and she loves me a lot.  She loves me "forty-three" - I think she arrived at this number based on my age, which is the biggest number she has spent any time pondering. I'm trying to teach her about eleventy zillion but she hasn't grasped that concept yet.  Both children seem quite fond of me but Hannah only recognizes two and five, so she doesn't quantify her affection for me, but I think, in the fullness of time, she will. 
  • Debris removal shoes may be available soon. 
2011, bring it on.  You only scare me a little bit with your potential ass-kicking.  It's just a flesh wound. 

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