Sunday, February 27, 2011

things I'll regret saying in front of Claire

"That is totally freaking me out."

I said it a few weeks ago when Lord Honey played a YouTube video clip of dancing babies who also break dance, ride skateboards down flights of stairs, and roller blade.  All wearing things just short of wife beater t-shirts and gold necklaces, and with moves to match the clothes, so I was justifiably freaked out.  I knew immediately it was a bad idea because she found ways to use the phrase appropriately within minutes.  She stopped saying it eventually and I was somewhat relieved that she was less freaked out. 

Yesterday, as we drove away from the home of her future husband who was celebrating his fifth birthday in style, Claire used the phrase again.

Mommy: Did you have a good time at the party? Is Logan your boyfriend today?
Claire: He is my boyfriend every day. 
Mommy: You don't say that on the days when he hits you, or when he won't let you hug him at school.
Claire:  I always love him, Mommy.
Mommy: Well, I don't think you should marry him if he hits you.

Claire:  Well, sometimes he hits me because I freak out. 
Mommy: Why do you freak out, Claire?  I don't understand.

Claire: Sometimes I think he is going to hit me and I just freak out, and then he does hit me.

I am now officially freaked out, myself.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Claire wins the race, along with everybody else

Despite Claire's superior reasoning and logic, she has not yet realized the fallacy behind everybody getting a first place medal. No matter, it is enough that she got a medal, didn't fall, and only hit one gate a little tiny bit.


My day care can beat up your day care. After the race they fed us pizza and sodas and the proud and excited parents took a lot of pictures and froze our butts off.

This is the young man Claire intends to marry. I think he shows every sign of having a soul patch and being underemployed while he skis his way through his twenties and thirties, but Claire sees her prince. Except she loves him less on the days he doesn't let her hug him, and then insists that he will not be coming to her birthday.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Twinkle Twinkle, little two year old. Now quit making me cry!

I'm not sure what happened at book club last night except my friends got Hannah all lit up on chocolate peanut clusters right before we left but in the car on the way home she was singing something over and over and I just couldn't get what it might be. Hannah's only song so far has been a song I think her Daddy came up with "Mommy, Mommy woo woo woo" or any permutation with Mama, Hannah, Daddy, or Car-Car (Claire). I asked Claire what Hannah was singing (she sometimes speaks Hannahese) and she didn't understand it either. Hannah's longest sentence so far has been about 4 words and most generally she uses one or two word commands (as you see at the end of her video when she says "I see! I see!!") AFter we said good night to the moon on our way in the door it finally it hit me that she was singing that perennial preschool favorite Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and my heart skipped a beat and then quickly filled with joy. Claire was just a few months younger when I captured her singing the same song, just a few days before Hannah was born. I double dog dare you not to cry, people. Double dog dare.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

One man's super and the other's good

Claire often has a lot on her mind.  Some is unfathomable.  Some is hogswallop.  All of it is interesting.

Claire: Daddy will you write a four on my arm
Daddy: Why?
Claire: So I can tell which one is my forearm.

Claire: Look Mama, I am not stepping cracks so I am not breaking your back.
Mommy: You're killing me, though.
Claire: I'm not killing you, it's a joke.  Silly Mama.

scene: we two are all cuddled up in her bed and her face is buried in my chest when she coughs suddenly, without time to cover her mouth
Claire: I coughed on your nursies!
Mommy: That's OK, honey.
Claire: Mommy, you can cough in my bed, and fart in my bed, and burp in my bed, and you can cough in my room, and burp in my room, and fart in my room.
Mommy: Thanks.
Claire:  But Daddy can't.

Claire: Can I make up a song for you Mommy?
Mommy:  Sure, honey.

I love my mommy, she's so cute
La la la la la la la
I love my mommy, I love her nursies
they're so cute
Mommy Mommy woo woo woo
and I won't sneak out of my room
and I won't sneak out of my room
and I won't sneak out of my bed at night at all

Claire: I tell lots of funny jokes and sometimes I lie. 

Claire's most favorite song is Tom Petty's The Waiting.  She sings along where she can get the words, and despite having kids' songs and school songs and wildly inappropriate songs and the songs I sing to her down cold, with Tom Petty she gets a bit mixed up with lines like "yeah I mightta chased a couple women around, oh all it ever got me was down" and really I am not entirely sure what she thinks that line is but I was sort of surprised to hear her singing the line I used to title this post. It should sound vaguely familiar . . . remember the song you sang at school?

Make new friends, but keep the old
one is silver and the other gold

Definitely a glass half full kind of girl.

Edited with updates: 

Claire:  Do I have to go away from you when I am all growed up?
Mommy: No darling girl, you don't have to but when you are older you might want to go away from me, not because you don't love me but because you want to go out and experience the world.  Like going to college, or travelling, or being with other people you love.
Claire: Like skiing?
Mommy: Yes.
Claire: If I am a ski teacher how many monies will I have?
Mommy: Not enough to go away from me.

Claire: Mommy?

Mommy: Yes pumpkin.
Claire: When I am all growed up you won't have to get the groceries. I'll do that for you. Because I don't ever want to go away from you.  I had a dream I got the groceries for you.
Mommy: I love you.