Haiku Friday: Potty Training O My

"Don't toucha mah bum!"
She screams at me angrily.
How else can I wipe?

She wipes standing up,
does not understand dripping.
I wish that she did.

Ev'rytime she pees
she asks "school bus?" hopefully.
Connection's my fault.

I told her "big girls"
got to go on the bus MORE.
She holds me to it.

So tomorrow we
must go on the city bus
as a poor second

I have to make good
or I will be made to pay.
Three year old despot.

Haiku Friday - the murmur of the cottonwood trees

Oh give me land, lots
of land, starry skies above
but less pollen please

I'd like to breathe through
my nose but not to sneeze so
more sudafed please

those trees may murmur
and give lovely dappled shade
but way too much snow

Haiku Friday an ode to fever

Grape Ibuprofen
smells awful but works wonders
bless its purple soul

Haiku Friday - glad to the the back side of you, week

A longish short week
especially for my friend
whose husband just died.

Memorial Day
just changed for her forever.
For her I feel sad.

This week at my job
I did not kill, beat, or maim
those who thwarted me.

So I will call it
a success in some key ways,
a fail in others.

Haiku Friday - next week sounds good

I'm exercising
more than in the last six years
glad I got new shoes

rain is relentless
dampening our play efforts
the ducks are happy?

our state is "in flux"
the moon is perhaps in klutz
my calves are quite sore

our bruise count is low
joy level is adequate
next week looks better

Friday haiku - current affairs

Strep throat, you bastard
why are you back in my home?
Damaging my calm?

But I am glad now
that my illness has left me
vomiting just thrice

and now I must give
double dose ampicillin
Fiesty red head!

Friday haiku - not for normal people

for Arby, even though he wanted to let me off the hook.


Swinging, dope smoking
trapezes and truck testes
don't mix. Or make sense.

Toxic wasteland hell
the grapes were in his buttcrack
police work is hard

When my work invades
the peacefulness of my mind
everybody pays

Friday Haiku - A birthday is coming soon, but not soon enough

In other home news
Claire has learned to do zippers
Am I obsolete?

Alas, I am not
throughout the house one can hear
Mama, wipe my butt!

I'd rather she did
or at least use the word bum
I'm not successful.

Three is much harder
than terrible twos as claimed
I'm glad she'll be four.

Perhaps she will stop
calling me poopy Mama
and laughing wildly.

Haiku Friday: the brown smear slalom during dinner event

A tired old leaf
rests quietly on our floor
from last summer's pears

What is that, that glob?
Smeared across the kitchen floor?
And behind the chair?

Oh dear, a turdlet
A dingleberry dropped off
the furry beast's bum

Oh horrors, here's more.
Some dollops and a big smudge
strewn hither and yon

What the hell happened?
Lord Honey says "check her paws!"
When you examine

the last paw you check
behold, you find she
stepped in her own crap.

The brown smear slalom
requires hopping, mopping,
cleaning profanely.

We nailed the dismount
had to skip the day's fine meal
but we still medaled.

Haiku Friday - post Christmas blues

A week has now passed
the paper cuts are healing
my wallet is thin

Why is packaging
of infant toys so burly?
Their fingers are small.

Our world was sparkly
presents full of promises
all ribbons and bows

Now the tree comes down
the recycling bin is full
and my ass is huge

Friday haiku: anniversary thoughts

The deli clerk at
our grocery store says Jason
is "not bad looking!"

Unfailingly kind,
faithful and true, and gentle
and tolerates me.

He works very hard
finishing our new garage
and doesn't complain

that he's on the roof
and its just seven degrees
with no sun shining.

Some marriages fail
when faced with adversity
I think ours will not.

Our life doesn't suck.
Today, I'm glad we married
four short years ago.

Haiku Friday: Saturday version

There are better ways
than professional training
to spend a Friday

So I ate candy
and knitted with much fervor
and some snide remarks

Forgot to haiku
or finish the old projects.
Babe needs a poncho.

Black Friday Haiku

Lo, I am afraid
of sales with lines out the door
and the shopping hell.

We stayed home, and worked
the girls and I, and darkened
no box store's wide doors,

But I will go out
on the day after Christmas.
Sock stuffers half off!

Haiku Friday: Magical Thinking

It's not like Disney
a bit more like Tim Burton
It's kinda crazy

You think influence
reaches from your mind outward
and can change the world

We all do it some
some people more than others
full of the crazy

Haiku Friday- the spoken word

The tiny redhead
repeats everything she hears
to my great shame.

"I have stinky pits."
For example, when driving,
"watch out you asshat!"

"Daddy is sneaky."
"Hannah, don't poop until we
get to Florida.

Haiku Friday: time, the dirty rotten scoundrel

Fricken' hell, Friday
it's already here, again
time moves so damn fast

I could do without
each year's Daylight Savings Time.
Changes steal my sleep.

And how do the days
ever since I turned adult
march by so quickly

Haiku Friday, brought to you by the number I don't think so and the letter L for late. Read this one while you think of "They Might Be Giants" singing their song Older . . . and join in.

Haiku Friday - Disney Days

We're at Disneyworld
Mouse ears, rides, 3D and shows
We are all melting

I've gone upside down
And backwards. Through time and space
And hung with mermaids.

Claire loves princesses
Hannah loves to sing and dance
Lord Honey went fast

My best friend is the
Eternal queen of all fun
And Disneyworld guide.

Got the girls their shots
I worried about swine 'flu
Instead we got colds

Haiku Friday - packing everything she owns

How many t-shirts?
Disneyworld is big and warm
so much to savor

Drinks, treats, and french fries
To savor is to spill, smear
We will be dirty

We all need good shoes
good stroller wheels and suncreen
and some books and toys


Post your own Haiku and link at Jan's to join in.

Haiku Friday - standards

Now I know the truth
a mother first, me second
I ate old stale food

I was so hurried
to do things and then get home
and care for my girls

I ate the Cheetos
stashed in my car for one year
and a Tootsie Roll

Emergency snacks
don't get much better with time
but the Tums were fine

Friday haiku - it's not just for breakfast anymore. See for yourself here.

Haiku Friday - Lord Honey's Ditch Witch

the hole must be dug
put electrical wiring
well below the grass

eighteen inches deep
and a full sixty feet long
this trench is not small

he started with spades
and he swore with much vigor
then chose to upgrade

without this rental
he'd still be hand digging
and fairly pissed off

men love their machines
and today we are praising
Lord Honey's Ditch Witch

Yo, haiku to you. Go on, join us. You know you want to. Post a link here.