Her wants hers mommy back

This is how my daughter describes every picture with a sad / mad / just not happy face, whether it be on a person, animal or imaginary creature.

I am almost ashamed how much I love that my child defines happy creatures as those that have their mommies back, and unhappy are those that are wanting mommy. Ha! Woe to the daddies! The grandmas! The aunties! Mommies are supreme! I said I was almost ashamed but I am pretty pleased that I am this significant to anybody, especially my little people.

I love that my girls feel enormous joy, and it is right there on the surface even when it is part of the ever changing mood of a child, the joy keeps coming. And then, better still, when they see you and shout MAMA, MAMA, MAMA, or the infant grins and kicks her feet when you enter the room because she has no words to express the depth of her delight in your existence.

I love that wherever we go my daughters are the most interesting people in the room to me, and that "I" am so much less absorbing. I used to get so tired of myself.

I love that surge of feeling when I hold my kids. I love that my heart will nearly burst just putting them to bed and singing, and that I cry all the freaking time because I get all overwhelmed with love. A whelm would be adequate but I get the overwhelm, every time. It's just like dancing but without anyone seeing your fat butt! The power of the mommy love blows through you like a hurricane, right up until they say "I don't love you mama, because you said 'no' to me." And then they forget to be mad, and all is right with the world.

What I don't love, more than I don't love poo, snot, vomit, and breast milk all over my world, is the fear that I might not be enough, do enough, see enough, provide enough to smooth just the right numbers of rough spots in their paths. And I could use more sleep.

Her Bad Mother has started a blog around the world virtual playground discussion for bloggers to discuss what we love or don't love about being a mama, and to "tag" a mom in another country to do the same. Enjoy ruminating, mamas of the world.