Monday, October 7, 2013

Spousal suicide / PTSD / parenting scorecard

Compliments on how I am doing at staying sober and alive - a few

My ability to teach my kids that we can dislike what Daddy did but still love him - better than expected

My keeping an atmosphere in which they express love for Daddy - amazing

Feeling a boatload of PTSD symptoms as I deal with estate, taxes, and what to do with the cremains - better than you might think but still packing a whallop

Ability to get rid of Daddy's car and clothes - still behind the curve

Number of counseling appointments this week for the three girls who live here - 3

Number of people for whom the counselor says we are almost done - 1 (not me)

Number of times I burst into tears at memories and intrusive thoughts today - just 2

If my arms weren't numb and my hands not so shaky I would be kicking butt and taking names.

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