Monday, March 2, 2009

Milk math

Douglas Adams said the Restaurant at the End of the Universe was powered by the mental energy of the diners doing math to pay their bills. I wish I knew what my mental energy was powering when I do milk math. Every night I lay me down, adding and subtracting ounces of milk relative to the number of hours that have passed since Hannah last ate, or might be expected to eat again. It goes something like this:

OK, she had 5 ounces at 5:30 but didn't finish the last 1 1/2 , then she was served part of a plastic thingie of peas and two TBSP of baby cereal with breast milk to mix at 7:30 and less than half was found on the child after the meal, but she ate really well at the beginning and didn't smoosh it out of her mouth until the end so she probably had 2/3 of the food that was consumed less the amount remaining in each of the three food dishes we used, but then I had a bite to make sure nothing was spoiled tasting so I have to account for that. Now she has had one more ounce and has been asleep for two hours and if I sneak three ounces of breast milk in by bottle while she is sleeping and I wait until 10:30 then she won't need food until probably2:30 but 3:00 a.m. is the maximum latest time to feed unless I count the solid foods which I can't really count because I can't quantify it but it makes her less hungry for milk certainly so if I wait and let her get hungrier will she eat more in the nighttime feeding so we can sleep longer before she wants to eat again at 5:30 a.m. or is that just caused by the stuffy nose? Should I use a decongestant? She's just so little and I hate to pollute her with wacky drugs not even the doctors believe in but a stuffy nose can impair her appetite and if she doesn't eat we could end up at the hospital and what time did she eat anyway, maybe I can squeeze in more milk now, OK but only half an ounce and does that push the time back for the longest she can go without food or is half an ounce too small to count anyway? Half an ounce is .5 ounces. When you round a number that ends in five, does it round up or down? Since breast milk is liquid gold can we round up when the number is in the middle or must I round down because MCAD babies need less fat and more carbs and so should I just be giving her formula or juice anyway? And I just pumped so I don't want to pump again soon so if she could sleep so could I but if she didn't have between four and five ounces then she hasn't hit her minimum feed and is three and a half like five, enough like five to go six hours or should we feed her sooner? Is this algebra or calculus? Have I spent enough mental energy on this instead of sleeping? What time is it anyway? How long have I been lying awake? Only a few minutes were spent on anything other than milk math, have I gone long enough that now I should take a sleeping pill so I know I get some sleep? How much Ambien lands in milk? If I take half an Ambien can I round it down and tell myself I didn't take any? Is it time to feed the baby again already? Who is that crying?

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