Thursday, August 27, 2009

Mansand

I've been working on this entry for wikipedia and I could use your help in the editing phase.

Mansand - noun.

Loose particles of hard icky stuff that come off a seemingly clean man's body in the night, deposited each morning in his bed. Mansand is a naturally occurring granular material composed of general dirt, skin particulates, food crumbs, broken down body hair, stuff you can't talk about in front of your mom, and some really teeny tiny stuff not yet named by scientists. Inexplicably found in greater concentration in the marital bed and at lesser concentrations in the bed of a man in a new and exciting relationship.

As the term is used by geologists and microbiologists, mansand particles range in diameter from wee (or 1⁄16 mm, or 62.5 micrometers) to not so wee (1 millimeter) to fucking huge (2 millimeters). An individual particle in the smallest size is termed a mansand grain or tidbit. The next smaller size class in geology is silt: particles smaller than 0.0625 mm down to 0.004 mm in diameter, or fluff. The next larger size class above mansand is body gravel, with particles ranging from 2 mm up to 64 mm (rocks you could pick up and toss). Sand feels gritty when rubbed between the fingers (silt, by comparison, feels like flour or old fashioned cocaine).

At any size, mansand affects a woman much the same as a pea under the mattress of a princess, basically, you can't fucking stand it for a minute and are totally baffled by how it got there.

Additional data is needed for:
Contents
1 Constituents
2 Environments
3 Study
4 Uses
5 Hazards

Please help improve this article by adding reliable references. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed. Like grit.

3 comments:

  1. This is awesome and hilarious.

    And totally describes my bed (not my half)!

    ReplyDelete
  2. OhMYGOOODNESSSSSS.... This is what is in the bathtub everytime my husband takes a shower. Luckily for me, he generally collapses in bed fully clothed, so the nastiness stays out of our bed, but still! Yuck!

    ReplyDelete
  3. You can post this on urban dictionary.com--it remains undefined right now, I checked

    ReplyDelete